Monday, October 27, 2008

Why Less "Hunter" and More "Hunted" Gets the Man

Lisa,

Awesome, huh!?

Not that I advocate playing games, but holding back just a little, tinsy-tiny bit can have positive effect on a guy. It gives him the space to pursue you.

Which is evolutionarily wired into his man brain. Been that way for eons. No point in trying to work against that, eh?

Work with it, and let him come to you….with flowers AND chocolate!

And what to do next??

You are right on, here.

It’s SO easy once it starts to look like it’s going well, to pounce on the situation and get over-eager.

But, that’s a BIG mistake!

Because if you start pursuing a man, his hard wired instincts will make him turn around and run.

Think about it, if a tiger turns his attention on him, what’s a man to do? RUN!

But if the tiger is not paying much attention to him, and the man is hungry, what’ll he do? Creep up on the tiger, and have him for dinner (think lots of sweet nibbling).

Ok, maybe that’s a weird analogy, but you know what I mean!

So, even when the tide is turning with a new love interest and it seems like it’s heading in the right direction, keep your attention on your own life (not obsessively on him), and on being happy.

That’s when your easy going, glowing, centered, joie de vivre, will have him coming back for more, and more!


Readers: Please share- when has a little holding back helped or harmed a developing attraction?

8 comments:

catherinette said...

I think most of us have heard this before, but for some ungodly reason, we don't abide by it and then the men all go running scared.

Dr. Jenn said...

Thanks for stopping by Catherinette!

You know, I was always much better at being a Hunter myself!

Usually, holdig back is only necessary for maybe the first month or so.

Then hopefully, everyone's on the same playing field- both hunting and hunted.

It's always more fun when it's both people doing it equally!
:)

Eve said...

Hunter, hunter , hunter, come and get me! Feminine Recepetivity, I feel, is the key here, exercise it , and allow him to come in to the round pen and, once he comes in, leave that gate open at all times!
Eve

Dr. Jenn said...

Good point Eve, about leaving the door open once he's walked through.

And THAT one may be even harder for most people than to hold back and allow the man to hunt!

But it's true, close the boundaries, and like a prey animal being eyed at by predator- the man may feel like bolting!

ciara said...

i acted less interested in a guy i was dating and it made him more interested...called more, paid more attention, but is that what is necessary to get a guy to give more? i finally broke it off when i couldn't see us w a future after he mentioned about moving in together.

Dr. Jenn said...

Ciara-
You make a good point. I don't advocate playing games. If you have to play games to keep a man, well, as you said, they aren't worth keeping!

But, just a little bit of holding back, just at the beginning, that can keep his spark of interest bright enough to keep learning more about you.

And once he's seen what an amazing woman you are, he's hooked. Then you are on to more equal ground.

Anonymous said...

This is true and sad at the same time. I own a successful business that has required me to sharpen my hunting skills equal to or greater than any man.

I also have little patience for feigning, so when I'm interested in him, he knows it, and when I'm not, I make that clear, too.

There's a man I am in love with right now whom I hunted away, and a man I couldn't care less about who is besotted. Regretfully, I am forced to take your advice from here forward.

It's so much easier to hunt than be hunted, though. I feel like a timid bunny hiding under a bush waiting for the wolf.

Dr. Jenn said...

I agree- authenticity is always best. And when it's "right" neither person needs to hunt, but both show up, ready to connect, offering their truth. :)