Monday, November 17, 2008

Moving On

Well, I've been super busy, with a brand new job starting soon and a move to be closer to that location. Exciting times.

So dating's been on the back burner for a bit.

I thought it was going well with the guy I was dating, but with all of these other things on my mind, it gave me some space to really check in and see how I felt.

And it seems like it feels right to take a break from him.

I'm having trouble getting past a certain medical condition he has which would affect how we relate and the fact that he's the sole caregiver of a teenage son! I see now how that could put a great deal of stress on a budding relationship.

I feel like I am fully ready to accept quite a lot in relationship.......but not THAT much, right from the start. Of course, it would be different I suppose if it were someone I had become really fond of, attached to, and in love with...

But since it was not to that stage, it seems best to cut it off for now.

So.....I guess it is back to the drawing board for me.

A question: As a single person who is dating, how do I decide when there is just too much to deal with in a particular relationship and thus make the decision to move on and look elsewhere?


Delores W said...

I think anytime there are kids involved you ALWAYS have to see if you want to fit in their life. And Medical issues that might impede your relationship is probably a deal breaker. I hope that doesn't sound callous, but I think it is much easier to cut it off in the beginning. Oh, and lose the "for now" that is cruel because it gives them a reason to hope. Do a clean break and if later you decide to go back, fine, but leaving a window open makes a house drafty.

Dr. Jenn said...

Thanks for your thoughts Delores!

I totally agree- that you have to know what is realistic for you- and ESPECIALLY- the earlier you break it off the better.

Once you become more and more emotionally attached and your lives more entwined, it becomes much more difficult to walk away from a situation you know is not best for you.

So listen to your heart right from the beginning!

Also felt the same way about breaking it off "for now." "For now" is never a good idea for the very reason you bring up. Clean breaks are best for everyone, if not a bit hard to pull off sometimes!

Thanks for your wise perspective!