Lisa,
Man, that sounds depressing!
What exactly brought that on?
I mean, I guess you are right...hardly anyone makes a decision that they think will end in self destruction.
Umm, well, wait a minute...I can think of many singles who make lots of decisions that are not in their best interest! At least not logically!
But anyway, the way you put it sounds so depressing. Maybe we could say that people are always looking out for number one, but to improve their lives, to grow, to change, because they hold a vision of tomorrow that is better than today.
At least that's what I hope for!
But, yes, many people do get stuck in "preservation" mode, instead of "growth" mode.
And that's the kiss of death when trying to find the perfect partner.
You've got to break out of old molds, discard old patterns, and embrace new ways of being in the world and in relationships.
Only then can the story finally have a happy ending!
Readers: What do you think- are the people you meet stuck in self preservation or are they flowing in self-growth???
Please share!
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2 comments:
I look at these 2 options this way -- life is hard, and to handle that there are a couple of ways to go about it.
One would be to try to avoid the painful stuff by contracting your experience of life -- or what you're calling "self-preservation."
The other would be by trying to accept painful stuff as just a part of the deal -- by expanding your ability to deal with what's really happening -- or the "self-growth" side.
I think there are plenty of both types, and I DEFINITELY think they don't mix well in love. You've got to be with someone on the same path, or it's just not going to make sense at some point.
That's what I think, anyway.
Here, here Jeff.
I so agree! I once dated a guy who told me crying wasn't an option. Even the very same day of devastating news. No room for dealing with painful stuff.
You've got to find someone whose style of coping is a good fit for yours.
Otherwise, it's finito!
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