Hi Dr. Jenn,
And the fourth time was pretty darn good too!!!To think that I ALMOST didn't see Terry again!
I think I may have something called ACTIVE IMAGINATION, where my thoughts read all sorts of things into where a relationship may be headed, or who a person may be, and then I take action based on those imagined thoughts.
I want to be more aware of when this happens in the future.
Yesterday Terry came to pick me up, and we went first to brunch and then to a plant conservatory that was filled with warm humid plants and beautiful music, and plenty of sunshine, and benches for just sitting together and watching the world go by.
We sat there for a long time, talking and people watching, soaking up the sunshine and the warmth. It was a perfect day!!!
And now it is back to work for both of us, but I have a feeling I will be seeing him next week.
I did get an email this morning from Danny, wondering where I have been and noticing that my emails to him have changed.
And they have. I now find myself thinking much more about Terry than about Danny.
And now I need a few days to work on me, and my new little place, and my new job.
Life sure is good!!!
I like how you call it Active Imagination! I call it Projection!!
Most of us have a bad habit of projecting all of our hopes, and wishes, and dreams onto a person before we know them.
We know just a little about them, and fill in the blanks with what we hope is true. Then we are surprised to find out 3 months later, that the person isn’t who we thought they were!!! Ooops!
Usually what we plug in is positive, so we are negatively surprised later on.
But as you have seen, you might also plug in something negative. Now you’ve been pleasantly surprised when the real Terry is being revealed!!
Either way, you hit the nail on the head.
It’s much better not to imagine or project anything. Since we are bound to be wrong when we fill in the blanks on a person, especially since we fill in the blanks based on our own past experiences!
For real love to arise,
We want to create an opening for something new and fresh to evolve.
And we want to allow a intimate connection to develop between the authentic selves.
Both those things can only happen when we open up the Sacred Space of Possibilities, and leave it clear for the truth to emerge between us.
Rather than to fill it in with all of the “garbage” our minds wants to spew forth into that space!
When you keep out expectations, hopes, dreams, and images- you allow your budding relationship to unfold without the heavy burden of myth- and instead you give it the space to become what it was meant to be!
To give that process room to grow organically, I encourage you to not think too much about it.
To be in the moment when you are with them.
And to be in the moment when you are not with them- meaning you aren’t thinking that much about them when they are not around!
Thinking too much about them when they are not around lends itself to fantasy more than reality.
Clear the slate of your mind before each interaction with them.
And continue to offer your authentic self in the moment to each of them.
Then the path will soon become obvious!
Enjoy the journey,