Thursday, December 11, 2008

Testing the Waters- Again!

Dr. Jenn-

Yesterday was my birthday so and I thought I would invite Mr. Architect out to have company and just test the waters there again.

And I came away with the same conclusion....that although he is sweet and kind and I admire him greatly, he is NOT the guy for me.

I am not sure exactly why. It is mostly a "knowing.” And learning again that he is not the "one" for me. It did serve to get me back on the dating sites.




Well, it seems like you are in good company! So many people go back to test the water out- to be sure!

And 95% of them come back with the same answer you found: It’s not right!

And all this up and down, back and forth, hope fired up then extinguished, can be uncomfortable for both people!

That’s why I recommend that people make up their mind once and make a clean break.

Before you go, test out any remaining hypotheses that this could be The One. Whatever things concern you, try to gather more data so you can say firmly, “I know this isn’t right for me.” That helps keep you from needing to go back!

That way there is one break up, not several!

Even if they are not technically real, big breakups!

So, I liked that you listened to your gut here. Sometimes, everything looks so good on paper- but your gut will tell you if it’s wise to proceed. And you’ve been listening.

The more you listen, the more accurate and more quick, those gut assessments become!

So- as you know- when we close one door to open another, it is our custom to stop and ponder: What were the gifts and lessons we offered each other? What did I learn that will make me a better person next time around?

Would love for you to share some thoughts!

PS- Happy Birthday!!!

Dr. Jenn

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