Picking a Partner is like Finding the Perfect Shoe!

Dr. Jenn,

Well, I emailed Terry and let him know how concerned I was about these few issues. Terry called to talk and ask about the nature of our relationship now.

I just feel in my heart that I would likely start to feel angry if I were dating a guy who claims to want to be healthier and have a cleaner house if he weren't doing anything about it. (I told him this in as nice a way as I could think of) .

I still believe that there MUST be a man out there who has done the things that he says are important to him.

These two items are not necessarily deal breakers, and I suppose I could learn to live with both issues, somehow, but with others out there who are interested in getting to know me, I really want to continue to juggle for a bit.

I am now talking to FOUR new and very interesting guys. I really don't think I am expecting perfection, but Terry was over the edge for me on those two things.

I know he was sad when I told him I was not ready to date him exclusively, and he is very busy with work for the next couple of months, so perhaps I need to think about it all more, and in the meantime check out a couple of other guys.

New ones are Kent, Bob, Mal, and Keith. Boy, I sure do seem to be attracting some good ones just now!!!

Lisa

***************

Hi Lisa,

I’m glad to hear that you expressed your concerns to Terry and you both were able to talk about it.

It seems like it may have been helpful to visit his home to see just how much of an issue it really was, but I think it’s really great that you tuned into your inner self and listened to it’s guidance: It just didn’t feel right.

This juggling period is the perfect time to really learn more about yourself, what you really need, what you can live with, what’s too much and what’s just right.

When it is just right- it feels like a perfect fit- like when you find just the right shoe- you slip it on and it’s comfortable, you feel like you’ve worn it your whole life and you could wear it easily all day long.

Until a relationship feels like the perfect pair of shoes- comfortable, easy, and supportive- it’s best to keep an open heart and mind as you explore all of the many facets of the people you are involved with.

Like the wrong pair of shoes, a partner who isn’t quite right- will cause some pinching, discomfort, or pain. You’ll want to take it off, take a break, or try other more comfortable shoes.

That’s normal and listening to how you really feel- that’s the light that guides your way. Keep following your light!

Dr. Jenn