Unclogging Your Love Life

Hi Dr. Jenn,

Okay, I have re-focused, and have let go of the guys that didn't match my dream.

And, guess what?! A whole BUNCH of new ones have shown up. I think I get it!

When you are juggling and one ball drops, I don't try to find THAT ball again, but grab another that has been tossed in my direction, and keep right on juggling, until ONE ball shows up that is just too good to be true, and he feels the same about me.

Right?

I am SOOOOOO excited!!!!

Lisa

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Lisa!

By golly, I think you are brilliant!

YES- That’s exactly it!

I love the metaphor- you just keep juggling new and interesting balls until the right ball is in your hands- drop all balls that don’t feel right, and enjoy the playful juggling!

Sounds like a recipe for fun and success!

It also illustrates last post's principle perfectly- that when you let go of all who do not fit- it allows room for more wonderful opportunities to show up!!

So many people clog up their life dating folks who are almost right, or Mr. Right Now.

Important Principle: As long as you are clogged your soulmate is delayed.

You just keep playing, shining Who You Really Are, connect authentically with everyone you meet, take leave genuinely and gently when the time is right, and learn the gifts of all of your lessons on this delightful journey.

Until, HE shows up.

In delightful service of love,
Dr. Jenn

Readers: How has unclogging your love life resulted in better flow of love into your life? Please share.

What to Do When What You DON'T Want Keeps Showing Up!

Dear Dr. Jenn,

Help!!! I feel like I am in a juggling rut.

Rather than juggling with good potential guys, if feels like I am looking for the one with the least flaws, and something seems wrong about this.

I am more confused than ever about men and dating.

I have about 7 guys who are interested, so there is no real shortage I guess, just lots of confusion on my part, in that none of them seem to be right enough, for all sorts of different reason.

I absolutely LOVE the communications I share with one guy, but he’s halfway across the country! We have a lot in common in creating things, and the way we see life, and I absolutely love his emails.

What to do, what to do. Just continue I guess, until one feels very, very right. Right?

Lisa
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Lisa-

I’d like to ask you: What is it that’s making you more confused than ever?

You know What You Want- and what is right in front of you isn’t What You Want, right?

But, having what you Don’t Want in front of you, makes it even clearer- What You Do Want!!

That is it’s gift! More clarity!

Where you are at right now- is where people tend to get supremely frustrated and give up.

They think: “I’m trying this Law of Attraction thing, I’m trying to focus on What I Want- and still what I Don’t Want keeps showing up!”

And they start to think this whole Law of Attraction thing- Like Attracting Like- simply doesn’t work.

And, that’s where the confusion comes in.

Because a lot of folks who have learned about the Law of Attraction, have NOT learned about it’s best friend, the Law of Opposites.

The two always work in Tandem.

The Law of Opposites says once you get very clear on What You Want- all of it’s opposites will show up.

Yes, that’s right- when you clearly call in What You Want- the first thing that will happen is more of What You Don’t Want will arrive in your life!!!

WHY?

Stay with me here, because this is very important.

If you already were, right now, in total harmony with What You Want- it WOULD be in your life, NOW.

So, to get to where your vibration IS in full alignment with your Desire- what would have to happen?

Everything that was NOT in proper vibration would have to be brought up, so you could look at it, heal it, and release it.

This process would be the gift that offers you the opportunity to get into fuller alignment with your desire- Love.

That’s why Everything You Don’t Want shows up- so you can clear and release the patterns that no longer serve you.

And honestly, that can take some time, since most of us need time to truly let go and develop a new, more positive habit.

I love the way Neale Donald Walsch talks about this in his book Happier than God- he says that people have it backwards. They get all depressed and angry when What They Don’t Want shows up. Because they think it means they aren’t getting closer to What They Want. And then they go and ruin their positive vibration by focusing on all that is “Wrong”.

But the opposite is true! He states that when everything opposite shows up it's actually a great sign that What You Want is just around the corner!

But, only IF you stay SUPER CLEAR on What You Want- rather than get distracted by everything around you that You Don’t Want.

Make sense?

So right now, you are simply being called to remain steadfast and clear- and about What You Do Want.

There is no need for confusion or worry- It’s simply an invitation to stay absolutely crystal clear about what you DO WANT! That is all that is needed right now!

Just keep Holding the Vision and every day, many times a day if necessary, Refocus on What You WANT!

You are right, don't bother with the men who don't feel right.

Just take a pass on them. Once you know it isn’t a good fit- you don’t have to juggle them- just keep moving on.

Kinda like this.

- David shows up who has sleep apnea and you aren’t attracted to him.
“Thank you Universe for sending me David- to highlight what I do what. Here’s what I do want: A healthy guy I am wonderfully attracted to.” Spend a moment feeling the happiness of THAT guy in your life.

- Terry shows up who is horribly messy and very overweight.
“Thank you Universe for sending me Terry. Here’s what I do want: An organized guy who’s committed to doing whatever it takes to remain happy and healthy so we can grow old together.” Spend a moment feeling the happiness of THAT guy in your life.

- Chuck shows up who seems VERY complicated and very serious about life, and very perfectionist.
“Thank you Universe for sending me Chuck. Here’s what I do want: A guy who’s easy going and we share comfortable, fun-loving laughter together.” Spend a moment feeling the happiness of THAT guy in your life.

The idea is to take what the situation has shown to you is What You Don’t Want- and use it to immediately reaffirm What You Do Want!

Spend no more time on focusing on what isn’t right. Let it go and keep your attention on Your Gorgeous Vision of Love.

The key is to stay positively patient, yet proactive at the same time. I know you can do it!

Readers: How has the arrival of What You Don't Want actually helped you achieve what You Do Want?? Please share!

When the Going gets Old: Embrace Curiosity

Hi Dr. Jenn,

Well, back to juggling. I have been talking to several (8-10) men of all sorts, but only one's with grown kids and who I have a good gut feeling about.

There are only about three near here (within 20 miles) that seem most interesting.

One is of GREAT interest, but of course he lives the furthest away, all the way in Massachusetts!!

I love his lifestyle and the way he writes, and we have many common interests, and they are the interests that are the most important to me. He seems VERY available, if we only lived closer to one another. The distance seems like too big a hurdle, but you never know I guess.

For now, will continue to get to know the closer ones too, and meet them one at a time. So, just reporting that the juggling is going quite well. About where it needs to be for now.

Sure am tired though, of starting over and over.

Am doing the EFT tapping every day (from the recent Meditation Monday), and listening to the Brain Sync CDs, and also seeking deeper truths within me as to staying open, and aware of what feels right.

Also clearing out some old stuff that could be blocking the relationship depth I desire, and staying clear to what it is I REALLY seek and want, so as not to be taken for a ride by other things.

In a way, it is like turning over the process to some higher power, and just focusing on gratitude and love of what is. And I am very grateful for being able to share this with you!!

So, this is where I am today.

Lisa
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Lisa!

Glad to hear that you are back to juggling.

I KNOW it can feel daunting, this up and down, back and forth of dating. It’s easy to wish that was over and you were living your happily ever after- already!

So, do try to keep going back to viewing dating as an amazing journey, a process of self-discovery and growth- by embracing wonder & curiosity: Who is coming into my life next and what will the gifts and lessons be?!

Because it is through this journey, and the lesson learning that you are being prepared to meet your soulmate.

It cannot happen before you BOTH have been prepared and stand, ready & able.

As in everything else in life, it’s about learning to love the traveling, not just the destination. Consider this: What would help you enjoy the traveling more? Everyone has their own answer.

Of course, you know this already, but one way to do that is to keep the focus on the gratitude for the lessons and gifts, daily even, in your gratitude journal. Writing it down helps you keep your intention on the positive nature of your journey.

I do love that you have a sense of simply accepting and loving What IS, and turning it over to the Universe, with TRUST, KNOWING that you are right where you need to be and the process is unfolding as it should be. That is the place you want to keep standing!

And it’s super that you are making use of the tools that surround you, like the EFT Meditation and the Brain Sync CD’s. I encourage you to keep using them!

In fact, if you didn’t make it to the Pink Roses Meditation this week, I suggest listening to it- the imagery is simple, yet had a very heart opening effect for me. It’s an image you can play with whenever you need to. And it sends out that loving pink energy out into the world, to do what? Attract in your soulmate!

So, maintain that open space in your heart, and embrace curiosity and soon all sorts of wonderful things will be flowing your way!

With love and light,
Dr. Jenn